the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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