How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
