apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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