Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
