we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize