Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
