and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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