How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
