Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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