Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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