i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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