We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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