The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I want to be your penis for a week.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
