Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
