There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
