I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
false alarm, still single
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
