guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
