I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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