there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
