I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
