YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
