i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
