is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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