The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
