threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
