You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
