I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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