His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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