Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize