Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
