Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
