He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
