Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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