and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize