I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
