every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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