I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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