He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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