nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
