'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize