I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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