I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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