with your own penis?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
