just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
