i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
