Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
then he tried to convert me to islam
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.