He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him