It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.