I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye