i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He shit in the fireplace
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
