i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
