I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
