He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
