We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
