Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
