I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
