your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
