Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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