I heard we made out
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
