he thought i was a dude.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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